Thursday, April 20, 2006

Jenna Jameson Plays Checkers?

Jon and Roberta Ann Finn purchased a Giant Checkers Game from a Winn-Dixie supermarket. But as their six year old grandson prepared to play a game with his dad, he found a card featuring a photo of Jenna Jameson, and a key chain that emitted sounds of the porn star at work. The couple went back to the market and discovered other games contained the same material. The store managment wasn't pleased.
"When we were alerted that the Giant Checkers Game sold in several of our stores may contain inappropriate materials, we immediately took steps to pull all of the affected games off our store shelves and contacted the vendor," Winn-Dixie officials wrote in a statement.

"I Think You're An A**hole"

That's how a letter from Congresswoman Jo Ann Emerson (R-Mo.) ended. It was sent to Bill Jones, a constituent in Centerville, Missouri. Even though the letter was signed by the Congresswoman, and included a hand-written note from her apologizing for a delay in responding, the representative denies knowing anything about the obscenity or how it was included in the correspondence.
"We cannot determine whether the addition to the letter was made by someone within the office or by someone with access to the office, but it is on my letterhead and the responsibility for it lies with me. A valuable lesson has been learned and new procedures will be adopted as a result."

Monday, April 17, 2006

Lockdown Students Denied Bathroom

During last month's immigration demonstrations, Worthington Elementary School Principal Angie Marquez reportedly misread the school district handbook and imposed lockdown rules designed for nuclear attacks. The result were restrictions so severe, children were denied access to bathrooms and were required to use a bucket in the classroom when they needed to egest.
Tim Brown, the district's director of operations, confirmed some students used buckets but said the principal's order to impose the most severe type of lockdown was an "honest mistake."

Friday, April 14, 2006

Reminder: No Hexes on Airplanes!

Russian singer Svetlana Yankovsky was busted by the FBI after slapping a flight attendant, throwing a hex, and telling fellow passengers on a Delta Airlines flight that they were all gonna die.

She was mad the wine she'd been chugging had been confiscated.

But when flight attendants tried to calm Yankovsky down, she told them, "Not good, plane crash, all die," according to an FBI agent's affidavit.

"Yankovsky continued her erratic behavior by 'hexing' the aircraft, the crew and the other passengers," the affidavit said.

"Yankovsky was singing and chanting in the aircraft and saying that everyone was going to die, their children would die and their grandchildren would die," it continued.

via Obscure

High School Books Wrong Jon Stewart

They wanted the comedian, not the professional wrestler. Oops.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Why Comedy Central Wins The News Battle

Today I heard about Tom Delay and Cynthia McKinney from all the major news orgs. Whether it was PBS, NPR or even Pacifica, I heard about them this morning as I was driving to work, and this evening as I was coming home. Over and over again, stories regarding Mr. Delay and Ms. McKinney dominated the day's news.

After the first five times I heard it, there was little more to learn. But that didn't stop the speculation and repetition. It seemed, beyond the occasional mention of Katie Couric or some obscure basketball tournament being held, there was little else to report.

However, the *only* time I heard about how the EPA is now listing water hazards at golf courses as wetlands was on The Colbert Report. I didn't hear about it anywhere else. Not once. I had to Google the topic later to find a story from Tuesday's Palm Beach Post. But it was nowhere on the broadcast news. Doesn't it seems to be an important issue during this year of record setting weather conditions?

Oh, and The Colbert Report followed a rather excellent interview with Studs Terkel on The Daily Show, where the grand old man reminded us all that it's okay to tell the President to "Bugger Off".

Oh, and *that* followed an interview between Jon Stewart and John McCain where Mr. Stewart asked you know, real questions about what the Senator is doing today. Questions along the lines of "What? Have you lost your mind?"

So if anybody is wondering, maybe the people are turning to a comedy channel to get their news because there is actually more news on The Comedy Channel. This is a poor reflection on the producers of the news, but *not* the consumers, and I don't think the producers get it. Until they do, they are destined to fail, and they deserve it.