Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Goodbye Hendrikje van Andel-Schipper

Hendrikje van Andel-Schipper, the world's oldest living person, now isn't.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Hey Fatso!

Dr. Terry M. Bennett didn't hold back when he told a patient that she was too fat and she needed to lose weight. She filed a complaint and ultimately the New Hampshire Attorney General's Administrative Prosecution Unit recommended the doctor take an "education course" and apologize. The doctor declined, saying he was just telling the truth. This has the attention of the medical community. Can the government regulate how pleasant a doctor is when delivering sound medical advice?

Friday, August 26, 2005

Ummm, Taste Fraggy!

Is anything better than video games or cookies? Well yea, there are several things which are better, but it's after midnight and I don't think she's coming over tonight. Instead, I offer these:

A bakery in Yakutia, a former Soviet republic, is making biscuit/cookies inspired by video games, such as Quake, Counter Strike, and The Sims. Yummy!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The Only Comedian Who Matters

Happy Birthday Dave Chappelle.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Are You Done Eating That?


Stoned, Man

Hey, let's rock.

Rubbish Drawings

Tell me how cool this is. Drawing on Trash! Quick grab those toxic markers and go Art Up the neighbor's garbage. It reminds me of chalk and sand drawings, but oh so 21.057th Century.

via Geisha.

Wedding Crashers

After a five year investigation, FBI agents arranged a fake wedding between two undercover agents. They sent out gold embossed wedding invitations, promising free transportation, hotel rooms, and a yacht for the ceremony and reception.

Instead, the limousines took the party goers to jail in handcuffs. It was part of a large coordinated bust where nearly a hundred people were arrested across the country on charges including smuggling and counterfeiting.

Monday, August 22, 2005

01001000 01110101 01101000 00111111

01001111 01101110 01101100 01111001 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100111 01100101 01100101 01101011 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01110010 01100101 01100011 01101001 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01000010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01010100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101111 01110010 00101110

All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Want to earn a cool million dollars? Just prove Jesus isn't the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The Jerry Stamp

An online petition has garnered more than 6000 signatures in favor of a U.S. Postal stamp honoring the late Jerry Garcia, guitarist for the Grateful Dead. What are you waiting for?

Goodbye Mr. Moog

Passings, however inevitable, are still sad events. Such is the case today with news of the passing of Robert Moog. Yes, that Moog. Imagine the importance of the person who popularized the piano, or guitar, or violin. Such is the ultimate impact of Robert Moog.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Home Alone

Single Adult Households now account for the single largest group of U.S. households. That is, one person, alone, without a spouse or kids or relatives. Maybe a cat, or two.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Porn, Our Eternal Gift

It seems all the stuff which makes porno mags slick and glossy also makes porn more indestructible than other printed material. An investigation in Australia dug up near-perfect copies of Playboy from the 1970's. Additionally, they are often made with a mildly radioactive clay, which will made them that much easier for your great, great grandson to find.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Hey Rob: Your movie sucks!

Remember when Rob Schneider got all snarky about comments regarding his high class comedy? He took out a full page ad which tried to belittle Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times by, incorrectly, saying the Mr. Goldstein had not won any awards and thus was unworthy of respect.

Well now Roger Ebert, an honest to God Pulitzer prize winner, has reviewed "Deuce Bigalow: Euorpean Gigolo" and it officially stinks. Zero stars! The quote of the day goes to Mr. Ebert:

"Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."

Monday, August 15, 2005

Poor Little Rich Posh

I don't know why, but I'm stunned that Posh Spice has never read a book. Not even her own, or the two her husband, David Beckham, has written.

If it really is because she believes she hasn't "got enough time", I can only feel sorry for her, and even more for her kids with whom she won't be sharing these lost stories. What wonderful places and people she is missing, and she probably doesn't even know. Maybe it's time to put down the fashion magazines and spend some time with books.

Peeing with the President

Seventeen journalists went on a bike ride with President Bush. Apparently it was a big bonding event, with lots of jokes and several reporters posing for photographs with the Prez. Then there were those special, personal moments:

USA Today writer Sal Ruibal stops at a tree and urinates. Bush tells him, "Ruibal, don't worry. The last one that peed there was a cow."

Friday, August 12, 2005

$100,000 to Rock with Arnold

If you donate $100,000 to Arnold Schwarzenegger's campaign account, you'll be eligible to sit near the actor/Governor in a luxury box during the Rolling Stones Aug. 21 show at Boston's Fenway Park. This thanks to Ameriquest, a major supporter of Schwarzenegger's pro-business policies, and one of the sponsors of the Stones' tour.

Buying Off Arnold's Girls

The Los Angeles Times is reporting that American Media, the same company which struck a deal with California Governor Schwarzenegger to pay him millions of dollars while he was in office, also paid two women thousands of dollars to sign a confidentiality agreement regarding an alleged affair with the actor. The money was paid with the agreement that the women would not talk to anybody but American Media about the affairs. The agreements never expire.

American Media's contracts with Goyette and Mora, both titled "Confidentiality Agreement," are two pages long and never expire; they bind the two women "in perpetuity."

UPDATE: Kevin Roderick at L.A. Observed has a post about this, with additional links.

UPDATE2: Steve Lopez is also talking about this, and about the true definition of "outercourse", in today's LA Times .

Thursday, August 11, 2005

CBGB Wins!!

I'm rather stunned, and completely delighted to hear that a judge as ruled that CBGB's can't be evicted from its current location. The famous dispute between the club owner and the Bowery Residents' Committee concerns the payment of "about $100,000 in rent increases, interest and fees."

In her ruling, Judge Joan Kenney praised the impact the club has had on the area:

"CBGB has proven itself worthy of being recognized as a landmark -- a rare achievement for any commercial tenant in the ever diverse and competitive real estate market of New York City.

"It would be unconscionable for this court to allow petitioner to proceed with its intent to evict CBGB ... because it failed to notice that monies were outstanding for approximately four years,"

Gershwin Home Demolished

The City of Beverly Hills has allowed the former home of George Gershwin, where he and his brother wrote some of their famous songs, to be "quietly demolished" despite efforts to save it.

Must Seed TV

Dutch TV is planning to run a program called "I want your child and nothing else" in which a woman chooses a sperm donor to, ummmmm, father her child. The program, which the Dutch media is calling "Spermshow", is reportedly one of five programs which will be broadcast, with viewers voting on which will stay on the air.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Fired for Criticizing American Cars

James Briggs says he was fired by The Daily Telegram of Adrian, Michigan after he wrote in last Saturday's column

"Maybe I'm hitting a late rebellious streak. Maybe I'm simply unpatriotic, ungrateful or un-American,"

"Or maybe the domestic automakers have slipped so far down that purchasing an American vehicle has become moronic. I'll go with that answer."

Briggs says the publisher told him it was "insensitive for me to write such a column given our proximity to the Big Three ". When he refused to apologize for something he believed, Briggs was fired. The publisher says "His account of the events is inaccurate" but refused further comment.

Band Insulted, Walks Off Show

Members of the band The Magic Numbers walked out on Top of the Pops after the host referred to them as a "Big Fat Melting Pot". If you met the band members on the street, they would look like normal people. But apparently they are too tubby for Richard Bacon, presenter for the U.K. television program.

Bacon, who's cocaine abuse has gotten him fired from the show in the past, was reportedly "mortified" and insists he was referring to their status, not their size. To add to the insult, The Times article above begins by referring to the band as "Chubby".

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Did Arnold Accept Stolen Money?

Governor Arnold, who criticized Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez earlier this year for receiving $35,000 from the Voter Improvement Program while he himself was being paid millions of dollars by Weider Publications, is now facing questions about accepting $10,000 in campaign contributions from Thomas Noe, who is accused of stealing nearly $4 million from the Ohio Bureau of Workers' Compensation. Of course this isn't the only time the actor's political fundraising has been questioned.

FCC Hires Christian Activist

The FCC has hired religious activist Penny Nance to serve as a special advisor in the FCC’s Office of Strategic Planning and Policy Analysis. Nance, who has been presented by the right-wing media as just another stay-at-home suburban mom has in fact had a long history of activism. She previously served on the board of Concerned Women for America, which wants to "bring Biblical principles into all levels of public policy." According to the MediaWeek article, Nance also founded the anti-abortion Kids First Coalition, and was a lobbyist for Center for Reclaiming America, a group that says it works to "implement the Biblical principles on which our country was founded."

Buxom Betty Beaver

There are several Betty Beavers truck stops in upstate New York and Vermont, but the one proposed near Schodack, NY is raising some concerns. Not because they are putting gas pumps over the town's aquifer (the Zoning Board of Apeals approved a variance to allow that). No, the problem is the sign:

Monday, August 08, 2005

Are Vaginas Really "Us"

Well, they are on Century Boulevard, thus providing the quote-of-the-day:

"The word 'vagina' is not an obscene word and we're not in a position to question the First Amendment," Councilman Bill Rosendahl said.

Dog Condom Recall

First, I didn't know (or really, want to know) that there's such a thing as a dog condom. But once I got my mind around that, I couldn't help but wonder how the folks who make these things didn't anticipate that a meat-scented condom might pose a choking hazard! Well that, and other failures, have led to a massive recall of dog condoms, which were being tested in several states. I guess it's back to the old rhythm method for Fido.

Thanks to Steve for the link.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Honey, About that Murder...

A few days ago, Teddy Claire Akin came home and told his wife he had killed Dennis Legrande Allen, a hitchhiker he had picked up, and buried the body in the woods. When police failed to find the body after a seven hour search, Akin admitted that he made up the murder story in an effort to persuade his wife to leave him.

"He was going through a divorce and had hoped the murder story would make his wife leave him, said Sue Livoti, a sheriff's office spokeswoman."

Akin had apparently found the wallet on top of a newspaper stand. When investigators reached the "victim" Allen in Utah by phone, he said he did not know Akin, who has now been charged with making a false report and petty theft. Akin was being held without bail and is expected to be billed for the cost of the investigation.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Pole Dancing at the Golf Course

Police in Naperville, Illinois are carefully reviewing video tape shot at the Country Lakes Golf Course during an event sponsored by Blackjack’s, a gentleman’s club in South Elgin. Dancers and strippers were hired to work the event. It seems the video "shows a variety of activities not usually associated with golf, including women performing lap dances for men in golf carts". The investigation includes determining how many off-duty law enforement officers participated in the festivities.

While most nearby residents are complaining, not all believe the outrage. Maria Labova, who lives adjacent to the course, is quoted saying "Honestly the neighbors, well, the men like it and if they tell you different, they are lying."

Beware Naked Swordsmen

In North Liberty Iowa, 46 year old Curtis Rarick wanted to get drunk and romp naked in his yard. His neighbors didn't share his enthusiasm and complained, asking him do put some clothes on. He didn't take the advice well and went inside his home, then returned carrying a sword with a 2-foot, 6-inch blade. He then chased and threatened his neighbors on their property. Today he pleaded guilty to assault with a dangerous weapon, and faces a possible $5000 fine and two years in prison.

Carolyn Hughes, Homewrecker?

If I cared about the Dodgers, I might care about the alleged affair between Dodger pitcher Derek Lowe and Fox sports reporter Carolyn Hughes. As it is I only feel bad for his wife and 3 kids.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

12,000 Pennies & We're Even

Robert John Zukowski was given a ticket for going 70mph in a 55mph zone. Apparently he wasn't happy about it and paid the $120 ticket in pennies, which he brought to court in a small garbage can. The best part? Judge John Pearson makes him wait while the Court Administrator hauls the legal tender to a local bank, exchanging the coins for paper, and bringing back a few cents which Mr. Zukowski had accidentally overpaid.

Now that's service.