R.I.P. Lloyd Thaxton

Lloyd Thaxton, one of my childhood icons, has died. He brought joy to my life, as much for his enthusiasm as for anything else. Whereas Dick Clark was polished and boring, Thaxton was a force, creating something out of little more than his love of music and kids. He will be long remembered.

God Loves Margaret Cho

He really does.

Don’t fucking question my Christianity you fucking idiot assholes. If you continue to have a problem, then talk to God about it, not me, you fucking racist homophobic misogynist fake Christian shitheads. God thinks it is funny that I swear so much. He said I could use his name in vain or whatever. He just wants me to use it. He loves me. So fuck you. And I guess he loves you too. Even though you are fake Christian assholes. If you were truly Christians, you would let gays get married, and send them fucking presents from Bed Bath and Beyond!

If you truly believed in Jesus, you would try to be like him and love us, fags and dykes and feminists all. God bless you, even you. You fucking fuckers.

via dailykos

Dear Food Network

I care about food, not personalities.

The War Against Boobs

Having large breasts is not a crime!

When Mr. Marshall Died

Hopefully, we all have teachers who have had a real impact on our lives. The kind of teacher you knew at the time was special, and which time has not diminished the reputation.

Mr. Marshall was such a teacher.

He was one of a handful of my Important Teachers, yet I never really talked with him. Only later did I find I was not alone in this. He was the most distant of my mentors, yet I can still regale you with his stories of history.

Today, while searching for something else, I was reminded that Mr. Marshall is dead. He is still missed.

When Size Doesn't Matter

An unnamed (to save his children further embarrassment) doctor who had been convicted of indecent exposure, has lost his appeal. His lawyer (named Dick, of course) claimed the defendant's 2.8 inch pee-pee was too small to be seen by the arresting officer. In a 30 page decision, the three judge panel unanimously disagreed and upheld the conviction.

The bottom line: This is a case that could be described as de minimis, a legal term defined by Black's Law Dictionary as "1. Trifling, minimal. 2. (Of a fact or thing) so insignificant that a court may overlook it in deciding an issue or case."

via osrr

The Burger King Butt Probe

You might want to skip the onions next time you're at BK.

Martin Bashir's Boner

Martin Bashir, co-anchor of ABC's Nightline has apologized for this remark, made at an event sponsored by the Asian American Journalists Association:

"I'm happy to be in the midst of so many Asian babes," he said onstage, with his 20/20 colleague Juju Chang nearby. "In fact, I'm happy that the podium covers me from the waist down." He then noted that a speech should be "like a dress on a beautiful woman -- long enough to cover the important parts and short enough to keep your interest -- like my colleague Juju's."

Lesbos Loses

Lesbians can still call themselves lesbians.

DUI With 0.491 Blood Alcohol Level

Setting a new American record!

Via BoingBoing

Spray On Condoms

No, it's not a can of Krylon, but the new condom is said to provide a much better fit.

Unlike its depiction in popular media, it's not a generic spray can that men haphazardly shoot towards their crotch. In reality, it works like a miniature car wash, employing a penis chamber lined with jets that distribute liquid latex. The entire process takes 10 seconds, with another 20 to 25 required for drying.

%@#&*!

It's a grawlix.

via kottke

Justin Gimelstob: FAIL

After threatening to "hurt" Anna Kournikova, American tennis player Justin Gimelstob is still employed by the Tennis Channel, which apparently hopes a "substantial donation" to the Women's Sports Foundation will be enough to pay off those he offended.

"We extend our sincere apologies to those who may have been offended by his comments," the statement said. "There is simply no place in our Tennis Channel family for language that is derogatory or dismissive of women."

Yea, right. Perhaps they think violence against women is just a matter of money.

George Carlin, R.I.P.

It is a sad, sad day. George Carlin has died.

Neal Pollack on Salvia

While I might quibble with calling it "an experience as intense as LSD" (a car crash might be as intense as LSD, but is not really comparable), Neal Pollack has written his Confessions of a salvia eater. Be sure to read at least a few of the comments. One thing is important to note: Salvia is not a "fun" drug.

Panties for Peace!

Well, I guess it's better than Nukes for Peace.

Missing Persons Report

I've been seeing a lot more lost people signs lately.

An 81 year old woman who walks slowly, with a cane.

A graduate, with a whole future ahead of her.

A middle aged woman, with a wonderful smile.

I hope they are all safe, and with those who love them.

Robert Rauschenberg, Dead at 82

Though his work didn't resonate with me the way others did, nobody can deny the power of Rauschenberg and his art. He died today at the age of 82.